Book Review: If You Tell by Gregg Olsen
Hello friends and Happy Spring! The temps are warming up and the sun is shining bright, so definitely make sure to get outside and soak it all up. Spring is a favorite season of mine since it brings new beginnings, fresh hope, and a happier state of mind.
I don’t want to cloud anyone’s sunshine, so if you’re not up for a review of a book filled with shocking and horrific happenings told by survivors themselves, then you may want to hold off on reading this. If you’re a true crime junkie like me, definitely grab a copy of Gregg Olsen’s If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood, give it a read it, and then come back to check out my review and share your thoughts in the comments.
If You Tell – A True Crime Book Review
Published in 2019, author Gregg Olsen’s If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood is a true crime novel that documents the lives of sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek who survived physical and verbal abuse by their mother, Michelle “Shelly” Knotek. While the three sisters weren’t Shelly’s only victims, they were the only victims who lived to tell what happened.
Overview
The story takes place in Raymond, Washington, and follows Shelly’s life as she descends into mental illness and commits unspeakable crimes against her family and friends. The story unfolds in chronological order, beginning with Shelly’s childhood and the odd and cruel behavior she displayed at a young age as told by stepmom Lara Watson. Readers immediately become aware that Shelly is a deeply troubled child. The book then steps into Shelly’s transition into life as a mother and wife and the grisly crimes she commits, abusing her daughters and murdering her friends. The book is sectioned off by family members, so you get to know them, and they share their stories and what they experienced and witnessed. Despite the never-ending terrifying stories that are told, justice prevails and Shelly is charged for her crimes, and her husband, David, is also charged for his assistance. Let’s take a deep dive into the book:
Young Shelly
The book starts with stepmom Lara reflecting on Shelly’s relationship with her biological mother, Sharon, an alcoholic and depressive who had abandoned Shelly and her two younger siblings early in their life. Sharon dies when Shelly is a teenager and her passing seems to not affect Shelly at all. Shelly shows little emotion when learning of her mother’s death, but this doesn’t faze me since Sharon’s addiction caused her to become an absent parent.
Readers are then introduced to Grandma Anna, Shelly’s paternal Grandmother, with whom Shelly spent a fair amount of her younger years. Grandma Anna has a dominant and vicious personality. She knows everything and is always right. She is the type of person who does whatever she wants and never considers if her actions are out of line. And no one dare questions her, either. She displays super controlling behavior, even forcing her husband to sleep in the shed, and he obliges.
Considering Shelly had an absent mother and learning that she spent a decent amount of her younger years around her evil grandmother, it’s obvious from the get-go that this is going to impact Shelly’s behavior drastically.
In 1960, six-year-old Shelly comes into Lara’s life. Not too long after meeting, Lara marries Shelly’s father, Les, who is ten years her senior. Lara immediately notices Shelly’s abnormal, controlling, and frightening behavior, which only grows violent over time. Shelly had this need to control everything, including her two younger siblings, who are scared of her. When Lara would speak to the other two siblings, Shelly would immediately chime in and answer for them. Shelly also had a hot temper and threw fits over the smallest things. She always had to be the center of attention and became envious if another sibling got attention. One of her popular forms of revenge was cutting up glass and putting it in her siblings’ shoes.
While this is certainly dark behavior for a child to display, Lara knows exactly where all of this is coming from: Grandma Anna.
Her behavior worsens over time. What I’m about to give away next is a big red flag that Shelly holds some serious problems.
At the age of 15, Shelly accuses her father of raping her and informs her school.
While the family knows this to be a complete lie and Shelly quickly admits to making it up, it’s an incredibly horrendous lie to tell. All I could think was, “How dare anyone falsely accuse an individual, let alone their father – the one parent who has been there for them – of such a horrible act?”
Then we learn more about Les. A complete pushover, Les always gave Shelly whatever she wanted and did everything to please her, even after she pulled this terrible stunt. His unwillingness to step up like a parent and discipline his daughter angered me. He’s in part to blame for Shelly’s behavior.
As a result of Shelly’s false accusation, the family enters family therapy and has private sessions with a psychologist. However, none are successful. But, I think it’s important to note that all of this occurred in the 1960s, a time when mental illness wasn’t as well understood as it is today. Medical professionals didn’t have as many answers or treatment options as we do now. If this story occurred present-day, I wonder if Shelly could have been helped?
Due to her false accusation of rape, Shelly is no longer allowed in that school and several other local schools decline her, aware of the incident. Eventually, a Catholic school does accept Shelly, but the staff immediately notices her conniving and manipulative actions and the school doesn’t allow her to return the following year.
Aware that Shelly’s actions can have a profound impact on her siblings, Lara does what she can to keep Shelly away and will gladly send her to anyone, anywhere that will take her. Shelly pulls another stunt, telling her Aunt Katie, her father’s sister, that her parents are mean and abusive. Katie falls for Shelly’s pity party and she and her husband Frank take Shelly for the summer. Shelly causes so much trouble between Katie and Frank that the couple ends up divorcing.
I give Lara so much credit for dealing with Shelly. Lara tries her hardest, in the beginning, to get to know and understand Shelly to develop a relationship with her. She tries to help the troubled child and sought professional help for the family following the false rape accusation, which I don’t think others in this same situation would have done. Many families experience serious problems but they don’t address them or don’t know how to fix them.
Marriage, Motherhood & Mayhem
Shelly marries her boyfriend Randy Rivardo at the young age of 19 and together they have a daughter, Nikki. Shelly, now unemployed as a result of termination from the nursing home her parents own due to not showing up for inexcusable reasons, shows zero interest in working at all. She carries a lazy attitude and believes that money should just be handed to her. So, she insists Randy work and brings in all the income.
Not only does Shelly demand that Randy work to support them financially, but she also wants Randy all to herself and does what she can to isolate him from his family. For example, when Randy’s family sends gifts to Nikki, Shelly secretly destroys them and she tells Randy she doesn’t know what happened to the gifts when he asks about them. When Randy’s family comes to visit, Shelly hides in her room and purposely avoids conversation. The couple fights because of Shelly’s controlling and crazy behavior, and eventually Randy leaves.
Not too long after Randy leaves, Shelly meets and marries her neighbor Danny Long. Together they have a daughter, Sami. Danny is different, in a good way, because he pushes back when Shelly demands something. Shelly is not used to or fond of this reaction. The two of them fight consistently, and Danny leaves.
Then comes David Knotek. Dave, a country boy and Navy Vietnam veteran, has little money and little self-esteem. David is shocked that Shelly shows him any interest. Much emphasis is put on Shelly’s physical beauty. She is described as having gorgeous red hair and a beautiful face that attracted many. I Googled her image and, while she’s good-looking, she isn’t what I’d consider strikingly stunning. It is Shelly’s beauty that lures David to her.
Right from the start of their relationship, Shelly demands that David work and he give her all his earnings. No matter how many hours he works, his earnings are not enough to satisfy Shelly. She repeatedly tells him that he is worthless, no good, a low life, and she shouldn’t have married him. She completely belittles him. David’s insecurities make it easy for Shelly to control and dominate him, and he does whatever she demands, including tormenting her children.
The long hours he works means he isn’t home much of the time to witness what happens at home. Shelly would lie to David and say that the kids misbehaved while he was at work and needed to be punished. David always took Shelly’s word for it. After all, why would his wife make things up? Also, kids are kids and will do bad things, right?
At this time, it’s evident that Shelly’s crazy behavior has taken a deep dive. She relishes in abusing and controlling others and carries out these desires on her children and husband.
What made me immediately hate David was his willingness to execute whatever punishment Shelly requested the kids receive. He never questioned her. One time, Shelly told David to spray Nikki outside with the hose as punishment. Nikki squatted in the yard with no clothes on as David sprayed her with the hose and her mother called her sorts of nasty names.
That’s not punishment. That’s abuse.
Like so many other times Nikki’s parents “punished” her growing up, she couldn’t understand what she had done. But, over time, the kids realize that their mother has major problems and isn’t “normal.”
While David works, Shelly stays home all day with the kids and does nothing to take care of the house. Instead, she orders the children to clean the house and tend to the yard. With a fixation on dominance and humiliation, her daughters must carry out the chores to her satisfaction or risk abuse. Never happy with the work her daughters do, Shelly beats them and tells them that they were worthless, and frequently refers to them as pigs.
The abuse the girls experienced was just as much physical as it was mental. Shelly would take away their beds and sheets so they had to sleep on the cold hardwood floor at night. But that was probably better than the nights they were forced to sleep outside. The girls could only go to the bathroom when Shelly allowed, which she didn’t allow often. Other times they went to the bathroom in a bucket in the attic, locked in there by Shelly. Shelly would limit their food and strip them of their shower privileges so they went hungry and remained dirty. Several times the girls tried to run away, but their mom was like a hawk and found them within what felt like seconds. They’re tortured as a result of trying to run away.
While the girls did attend school and do go on to graduate, Shelly makes it difficult for them by throwing away their homework or taking away their clothing so they are forced to wear the same outfit for some time. I wondered why a teacher or staff member didn’t pick up on the girls’ appearance (dirty clothes, bruises, etc) or why the girls didn’t tell someone at the school. But, the staff does take notice and addresses Sami, who doesn’t want to tell the staff the truth because she knows her mother will manipulate the situation and the school will believe it, and Sami will be beaten for telling.
As the book continues and readers learn more about the torture the girls experienced, the girls also reflect on the good times they shared with their mother. There were times when Shelly acted as a mom should. She’d cook the family a warm meal and let the kids shower and sleep on their beds. She’d even throw the kids birthday parties. But like a light switch, she’d go right back to her sadistic ways. One birthday, Shelly gave Nikki a Cabbage Patch doll that she loved. But Shelly immediately took it away from her.
David and Shelly eventually have a daughter together, Tori, born in 1987. Tori doesn’t remember as much as Nikki or Sami, most likely due to the age gap. Nikki was born in 1974 and Sami in 1978. Nikki, being the oldest, was Shelly’s main target and took the brunt of the torture.
In 1988, Shelly and David take in Shelly’s nephew, Shane Watson, who had been living on and off the streets. His father had a criminal past and his mother had problems. Shane moves in with the Knoteks, and, at first, all seems normal. He thought his aunt and uncle loved him and wanted to help him and for them to all be a family. Of course, that show didn’t last long. Shelly unleashes her controlling and tormenting behavior on Shane and treats him the same as the girls. Shane, unlike the girls, did fight back at first but would eventually give in. He and Nikki shared a close relationship, likely due to their close age and the fact that they were Shelly’s main two targets. Shane always openly said to Nikki how messed up Shelly was and together they’d discuss their dreams of leaving.
Shelly took notice of Shane and Nikki’s closeness and would make them do inappropriate things together to humiliate them like forcing them to wallow together naked. Shane tries to run on more than one occasion but Shelly finds him and punishes him. The focus on Shane fades a little when Kathy Lorengo, Shelly’s hairdresser, comes to live with the Knoteks.
Out of a job and out of money, Kathy accepts Shelly’s generous offer to live at their place until she can get back on her feet. As she did with Shane, Shelly treats Kathy like royalty but it quickly turns violent. Shelly belittles Kathy, takes away her belongings, deprives her of food, cuts her hair, strips her of her clothes, beats her, makes her sleep outside, and disconnects all communication between Kathy and any of her relatives. Kathy tries to run but is always caught. Shelly demands that others take part in torturing Kathy, in which she often instructs Shane to physically hurt Kathy. Shane doesn’t resist or question Shelly’s request.
Shelly tended to feed her victims pills, what seemed to be sleeping pills. But I assume those are likely mixed with other pills. Kathy is so brutally beaten and tormented and fed whatever Shelly gave her that she eventually dies. David and Shane burn her body and David takes the ashes to the ocean near his job to dispose of them.
Needing someone to blame for Kathy’s death, Shelly puts it on Shane. Shelly’s fearful that someone will question the family about what happened to Kathy. To convince herself and everyone else that Shane killed Kathy, Shelly repeatedly states out loud that Shane did it and it’s all his fault Kathy is gone.
Shortly after Kathy’s death, Shane disappears from the book. It’s later revealed that David shot Shane in the back of the head to prevent him from telling someone what happened to Kathy. Shelly instilled fear in everyone’s mind that Shane intended on telling the police what happened. Shelly was great at manipulating people.
A few years go by and Shelly lands a job as a caseworker, although, unsurprisingly, this job doesn’t last long. She doesn’t show up or perform her job duties as requested and is fired as a result. But this is how she meets Ronald Woodworth. A “new friend” of Shelly’s, Ron had helped an elderly woman who owned dozens of cats and was being evicted from her home. Also at this time, Nikki and Sami are grown and have moved out of the house and on with their lives. Since it’s only Shelly and Tori at home, and David occasionally when he’s not working, Tori immediately starts to pick up on her mother’s gruesome ways.
Ron is already super down about the split between him and his partner Gary of 17 years, his father’s recent passing, and losing his home. He’s even suicidal. Therefore, he’s an easy target for Shelly. He moves into the Knotek’s home and, like the children and Kathy, experiences Shelly’s physical and verbal abuse. His possessions are taken from him, he is referred to as worthless and disgusting, receives little to no food, and is made to do yard work without clothing.
Shelly goes as far as to force Ron to physically hurt himself. Shelly instructs him to punch himself in the face repeatedly and he does it. Another time, Shelly instructs David to tell Ron to jump off the roof. David does as Shelly says and Ron does as he is told, jumping off the roof and getting up and doing it again.
Seeing all of this deeply hurts Tori, who sincerely enjoys Ron’s company. He’s described as a funny, sweet, and nice guy. Shelly notices the bond between the two of them and doesn’t accept it. Shelly forces Ron to tell Tori that he doesn’t love her anymore. Although Tori was young at the time, she knew this wasn’t true and her mother forced Ron to say it.
Ron, like everyone before him, tries to make a run for it but is caught and the torture continues.
While this occurs, the truth begins to unravel. Nikki tells her Grandmother Lara in the summer of 2001 that Shelly killed Kathy. Well aware of Shelly’s grisly behavior, Lara believes Nikki and the two go to the police office to make a statement. The police attempt to get in contact with Sami to confirm Nikki’s story, in which they leave a message for her to contact them, but Sami refuses to respond, possibly scared of her mother’s reaction. Sami’s actions angered me since she was covering up her murderous mother’s actions and I felt as though she betrayed her sister. But years of abuse and torture can certainly instill fear.
Meanwhile, James “Mac” McClintock, a Pearl Harbor survivor and friend of Kathy’s mother, Kaye, then comes into the picture. Tori takes a liking to him like she did Ron. Shelly treats him like a king and refers to him as the father she never had. But it’s quickly evident why she treats him so great: he’s old and has money. Mac seems to enjoy Shelly’s company and the two form such a tight friendship that Mac assigns Shelly as power of attorney in 2001. A year later, Mac takes a “terrible fall” and doesn’t survive. Not saddened by his passing, Shelly was left $5,000, his house worth over $140,000, and his dog, Sissy.
As she’s done in the past whenever she received money, it was gone as soon as she received it. Despite how often David worked, the Knotek’s never seemed to have money. If cash wasn’t available, Shelly turned to credit cards, in which she opened credit cards in her daughters’ names and racked them up.
Although Mac’s death was said to be a result of a fall, Shelly blames Ron for his death. I think it’s pretty obvious that Shelly was involved in Mac’s death and she wanted him dead to get his money. But the book doesn’t step into the details of Mac’s death. As Shelly constantly reminds Ron that he killed Mac, Ron accepts what “he did” and apologizes over and over for it. He’s already suffered too much mental, verbal, and physical abuse by her, and cannot escape it, so he accepts whatever she says.
One day in 2003, Dave receives a call from Shelly that Ron tried to kill himself. Shelly takes Ron out of their house and puts him in Mac’s house. Shelly instructs Tori not to tell anyone about Ron, and if anyone asks about him, Tori is to say that he left and is living in Tacoma.
Around this time, Tori begins to experience similar abuse her sisters did by their mother. Nikki and Sami are under the impression that their younger sister is doing okay and not experiencing what they went through. Tori, not knowing any better and not well aware of how her mother treated her sisters, tells Sami she’s doing fine when they talk.
Even though she acknowledges her mother’s violent nature, Sami continues to have a relationship with her mother. I think she stays in contact to not only know how her younger sister Tori is doing, but also because Sami was portrayed as the favorite child. She didn’t receive the same extent of abuse as Nikki or Shane did, and, when she was abused, she often used humor and jokes in reaction.
One day, out of the blue, Shelly calls Sami to tell her that she decided to allow Tori to see her. Sami, now living in Seattle, secretly plans a dinner with Tori and their sister Nikki. After Nikki moved out, Shelly had tried to fill Tori’s head with lies about her older sister disliking her and not being a good person. But when Tori meets Nikki after so many years apart, she’s very fond of her older sister. I think the reuniting of the sisters has a big impact on them, reminding them of their bond as sisters and encouraging them to move the envelope and get their mother put away.
Tori later confides in Sami and tells her that Shelly is physically and verbally abusing her. Sami is broken hearing this as she and Nikki were hoping the abuse would’ve stopped with them. Sami tells Tori that their mother killed Kathy. Sami asks about Ron and Tori says she believes he’s dead. Sami shares this with Nikki and the two know that they need to do something to stop their wicked mother.
As Nikki and Sami discuss a way to save their little sister and get their mother in jail for all she’s done, Ron passes away. Shelly phones David to come home and tells him that she tried to save Ron by performing CPR. While waiting for David to get home, Shelly puts Ron’s body in the freezer. When David gets home, he moves the frozen body, plans a pit, and buries Ron.
On August 6, 2003, Nikki and Sami go to the local county police to tell them everything they knew to be true about their mother. The police didn’t take action when Nikki told them about Kathy a few years back, so Nikki makes it clear to the police that if Ron is dead, the police could have prevented it.
The next day, the police knock on the Knotek’s door, and caseworkers from CPS come to get Tori. Tori whispers to the deputy to get a search warrant and informs him where she purposely moved Ron’s items for police evidence. Tori goes to the station and tells her story. Although she doesn’t describe in grave detail what she experienced or witnessed, her story is enough for police.
Shelly frantically calls Sami unsure what is going on and why CPS took Tori. Sami plays it off as if she’s clueless as to what’s happening. David goes to the police station to get Tori and get answers from the police, but they provide him with no information. Police do, however, ask David about Ron and Kathy. David immediately breaks and tells the police where they are and what happened. After learning this, the police then pick up Shelly at Mac’s house.
A Light at the End of the Tunnel
In 2004, Dave and Shelly are convicted.
David was charged with first-degree murder in the death of Shane and rendering criminal assistance and unlawful disposal of human remains. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 15 years in prison for the second-degree murder of Shane. He was paroled in 2016.
Shelly was charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of Kathy and Ron. She entered an Alford plea, in which she did not admit responsibility but acknowledged the prosecutor’s case against her. She was convicted of second-degree murder and manslaughter for the torture and deaths of Kathy and Ron and was sentenced to 22 years in prison. She is scheduled to be released in 2022 for good behavior.
My Review and Rating
Horrifying, heartrending, and astonishing, this book is a must-read for those who love true crime. It’s a page-turner that will leave you wanting to know more and anticipating justice for the victims. Once I started reading it, I found it practically impossible to put down.
As mentioned at the beginning of this blog, the book is laid out in chronological order so you learn about Shelly’s past. Learning about the relationship with her biological mother and paternal Grandmother and what she experienced early on is important since this may have very well impacted her and caused her to act the way she did.
The ghastly actions by Shelly towards her daughters and her friends, and the fact that husband and dad David stood by and did absolutely nothing to stop the abuse and also took part in heinous crimes, left me inexplicably angry and completely disgusted. I admit I had to put the book down a few times after learning about how the children and friends suffered. But I kept going knowing that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
The Strength of Sisterhood
Knowing that the sisters had each other and stood by each other kept me hopeful throughout the book. They didn’t let their mother’s sickening behaviors tear them down or tear them apart. Despite the years of hell they experienced, Nikki’s, Sami’s, and Tori’s ability to persevere truly astounds me. I’m moved by their courage, strength, and resilience to overcome all that they did.
Dave Knotek: Willing Participant or Victim?
Without a shadow of a doubt, David was a willing participant. It’s appalling how he could just turn his cheek and not think anything of his wife’s actions or behaviors. Either he was well aware of what was taking place and chose to ignore it or he’s that ignorant. It’s very bothersome when, throughout the book, he backs up his wife’s actions and choices when there were blatant hints that what was going on at home was not right or normal by any means. Was he a victim of his wife? Some may say yes, he suffered too. But I disagree. He had the power to leave, to stop this. He could have saved his children and Shelly’s friends. He chose not to and, therefore, participated in the heinous acts.
Evil Mom to be Released in 2022
When I finished the book I Googled the story and learned that Shelly is set to be released in 2022. I don’t believe at all that she is any different now than she was then. Sure, she aged. It doesn’t mean that she’s no longer mentally ill and is no longer a threat to society.
I hope that this blog brings attention to not only this unfortunately true story, but also the all-too-similar stories of abuse, manipulation, and murder. You can help spread the word about Shelly Knotek, child-abuser and murderer, by sharing this blog.
I gave the book a 5 out of 5-star rating.
GoodReads rates the book a 3.96/5
Scribd rates it a 4.5/5
Have you read If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood? If so, let me know what you thought about the book in the comments below!
