Book Review: If You Tell by Gregg Olsen
Hello friends, and Happy Spring! The temperatures are warming up, and the sun is shining bright, so be sure to get outside and enjoy it. Spring is one of my favorite seasons because it brings new beginnings, fresh hope, and a general sense of happiness.
I don’t want to dampen anyone’s sunny mood, so if you’re not in the mood for a review of a book filled with shocking and horrific events told by survivors themselves, you might want to hold off on reading this. However, if you’re a true crime enthusiast like me, I highly recommend grabbing a copy of If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen, reading it, and then coming back to check out my review and share your thoughts in the comments.
If You Tell – A True Crime Book Review
Published in 2019, If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen is a gripping true crime account that chronicles the harrowing experiences of sisters Nikki, Sami, and Tori Knotek, who survived years of physical and verbal abuse at the hands of their mother, Michelle “Shelly” Knotek. Though the sisters weren’t Shelly’s only victims, they are the only ones who lived to share their story.
Overview
The story takes place in Raymond, Washington, and follows Shelly‘s descent into mental illness as she commits unspeakable crimes against her family and friends. The narrative unfolds in chronological order, beginning with Shelly‘s troubled childhood as told by her stepmother, Lara Watson. Right away, readers understand that Shelly is a deeply troubled child, displaying odd and cruel behavior from a young age. The book then transitions into Shelly‘s life as a mother and wife, detailing the grisly crimes she commits, including the abuse of her daughters and the murder of her friends. The story is divided by family members, allowing readers to hear from each one, learning what they experienced and witnessed. Despite the never-ending stream of terrifying stories, justice ultimately prevails, with Shelly charged for her crimes and her husband, David, also held accountable for his role in aiding her. Let’s take a deeper dive into the book:
Young Shelly
The book begins with Lara reflecting on Shelly‘s relationship with her biological mother, Sharon, an alcoholic and depressive who abandoned Shelly and her two younger siblings at a young age. Sharon dies when Shelly is a teenager, but her passing seems to have little effect on Shelly. She shows little emotion upon learning of her mother’s death, which is hardly surprising given Sharon‘s absence due to her addiction.
Next, readers are introduced to Grandma Anna, Shelly‘s paternal grandmother, with whom Shelly spent a significant amount of her younger years. Grandma Anna is depicted as a dominant, ruthless personality. She believes she is always right and does whatever she wants, without considering whether her actions are acceptable. No one dares question her. Her controlling behavior is evident when she forces her husband to sleep in the shed, and he complies without protest.
Given Shelly‘s absent mother and her time spent around her manipulative and toxic grandmother, it’s clear from the start that these experiences will have a lasting impact on Shelly‘s behavior and mindset.
In 1960, six-year-old Shelly enters Lara‘s life. Not long after meeting, Lara marries Shelly‘s father, Les, who is ten years her senior. From the start, Lara notices Shelly‘s abnormal, controlling, and frightening behavior, which only becomes more violent as time goes on. Shelly has an overwhelming need to control everything, including her two younger siblings, who are afraid of her. When Lara would speak to the other two siblings, Shelly would immediately interrupt and answer for them. She also had a quick temper and would throw fits over the smallest things. Shelly always needed to be the center of attention and became envious if another sibling received any. One of her favored forms of revenge was cutting up glass and putting it in her siblings’ shoes.
While this is undeniably dark behavior for a child, Lara immediately understands where it’s coming from: Grandma Anna.
As time goes on, Shelly‘s behavior worsens. The next revelation is a major red flag that indicates Shelly has some serious psychological issues.
At the age of 15, Shelly accuses her father of raping her and informs her school.
While the family knows the accusation is a complete lie, and Shelly quickly admits to making it up, it’s still an incredibly horrendous thing to say. All I could think was, “How dare anyone falsely accuse someone, let alone their father—the one parent who has always been there for them—of such a terrible act?”
Then we learn more about Les. A complete pushover, he always gave Shelly whatever she wanted and did everything he could to please her, even after she pulled this awful stunt. His unwillingness to step up as a parent and discipline his daughter really angered me. He’s partly to blame for Shelly‘s behavior.
As a result of Shelly’s false accusation, the family enters therapy and has private sessions with a psychologist. However, none of these sessions are successful. It’s important to note, though, that all of this happened in the 1960s, a time when mental illness wasn’t as well understood as it is today. Medical professionals didn’t have the answers or treatment options we have now. If this story took place today, I wonder if Shelly could have been helped.
Due to her false accusation, Shelly is banned from attending that school, and several other local schools refuse to admit her, aware of the incident. Eventually, a Catholic school accepts Shelly, but the staff quickly notices her manipulative and deceitful behavior. As a result, they do not allow her to return the following year.
Lara, understanding that Shelly’s actions could have a serious impact on her siblings, does everything she can to keep Shelly away from them. She is willing to send Shelly anywhere and to anyone who will take her. Shelly causes more trouble by telling her Aunt Katie, her father’s sister, that her parents are mean and abusive. Katie falls for Shelly’s sob story and, along with her husband Frank, agrees to take Shelly for the summer. However, Shelly’s actions cause so much strife between Katie and Frank that they eventually divorce.
I have a lot of respect for Lara and her ability to deal with Shelly. At first, Lara genuinely tried to understand Shelly and build a relationship with her. She sought professional help for the family after the false rape accusation, which I believe many others in the same situation wouldn’t have done. Many families face serious issues but either don’t address them or don’t know how to fix them.
Marriage, Motherhood & Mayhem
At 19, Shelly marries her boyfriend Randy Rivardo, and together they have a daughter, Nikki. Shelly, who was fired from the nursing home her parents own due to chronic absenteeism, now refuses to work and adopts a lazy attitude. She believes money should simply be handed to her and insists that Randy be the one to support them financially.
Not only does Shelly demand Randy work to support them, but she also wants him all to herself, doing everything she can to isolate him from his family. For example, when Randy’s family sends gifts for Nikki, Shelly secretly destroys them and denies knowing what happened when Randy asks. When Randy’s family visits, Shelly hides in her room and avoids conversation. Her controlling and erratic behavior leads to constant fights, and eventually, Randy leaves.
Not long after Randy’s departure, Shelly meets and marries her neighbor, Danny Long. They have a daughter named Sami. Danny is different from her previous partners—he pushes back when Shelly demands something. Shelly is unaccustomed to this and doesn’t like it. The couple argues frequently, and eventually, Danny leaves.
Then Shelly meets David Knotek, a country boy and Vietnam War veteran with little money and low self-esteem. He is shocked that someone like Shelly, who is described as physically beautiful with striking red hair and an attractive face, would show interest in him. While Shelly is attractive, I wouldn’t call her “strikingly stunning,” but her beauty draws David in.
From the beginning of their relationship, Shelly demands that David work and give her all his earnings. No matter how many hours he works, his income is never enough for her. She repeatedly belittles him, calling him worthless, lazy, and saying she regrets marrying him. David’s insecurities make it easy for Shelly to control him, and he does whatever she asks, including mistreating her children.
Because David works long hours, he is rarely home to witness what goes on at home. Shelly lies to him, claiming that the kids misbehave while he’s at work and need to be punished. David, trusting his wife, believes her. After all, why would she make up such things? And, like many people, he assumes children misbehave from time to time.
By this point, Shelly’s behavior has spiraled into full-blown manipulation and abuse. She thrives on controlling and hurting others, including her children and husband.
What made me despise David was his unquestioning obedience to Shelly. He never questioned her decisions. One particularly disturbing incident was when Shelly told David to punish Nikki by spraying her with a hose outside. Nikki, stripped of her clothes, crouched in the yard while David sprayed her with cold water, all while Shelly yelled cruel names at her.
That isn’t punishment; it’s abuse.
Like so many other times growing up, Nikki couldn’t understand what she had done wrong when her parents “punished” her. Over time, however, she and her siblings came to realize that their mother had major issues and wasn’t “normal.”
While David worked, Shelly stayed home all day with the kids and did nothing to care for the house. Instead, she forced her children to do all the cleaning and yard work. Obsessed with dominance and humiliation, Shelly insisted that her daughters complete the chores to her satisfaction, or they would face abuse. No matter how hard they worked, Shelly would always criticize them, telling them they were worthless and often calling them pigs.
The abuse the girls endured was both physical and emotional. Shelly would take away their beds and sheets, forcing them to sleep on the cold hardwood floor at night. However, that might have been better than the nights when they were made to sleep outside. Shelly would restrict their bathroom access, only allowing them to go when she permitted it—often not very frequently. At times, they were locked in the attic, where they had to use a bucket as a toilet. Shelly also limited their food and stripped away their shower privileges, leaving them hungry and filthy. Several times, the girls tried to run away, but Shelly would find them almost immediately, punishing them severely for attempting to escape.
Although the girls attended school and eventually graduated, Shelly made their lives difficult. She would throw away their homework or take away their clothes, forcing them to wear the same outfit for extended periods. I often wondered why a teacher or staff member didn’t notice the girls’ condition—dirty clothes, bruises, etc.—or why the girls didn’t speak up. The staff did notice and reached out to Sami, but Sami was too afraid to tell the truth. She knew her mother would manipulate the situation, and the school would believe Shelly, leaving Sami to face even more punishment for speaking out.
As the story unfolds and readers learn more about the abuse the girls endured, they also reflect on the brief moments of kindness Shelly showed. There were times when Shelly acted like a mother should—cooking warm meals, letting the kids shower, and letting them sleep in their beds. She even threw birthday parties for the children. But these moments of normalcy were short-lived. Like flipping a switch, Shelly would revert back to her sadistic behavior. On one birthday, Shelly gave Nikki a Cabbage Patch doll, which Nikki loved. But Shelly immediately took it away from her.
In 1987, Shelly and David had a daughter, Tori. Tori doesn’t remember as much as Nikki or Sami, likely due to the age gap. Nikki, born in 1974, was the oldest, and as Shelly’s primary target, she bore the brunt of the abuse.
In 1988, Shelly and David took in Shelly’s nephew, Shane Watson, who had been living on and off the streets. His father had a criminal past, and his mother had her own problems. At first, everything seemed normal. Shane believed his aunt and uncle genuinely wanted to help him and that they could all be a family. But that illusion didn’t last long. Shelly unleashed the same controlling, tormenting behavior on Shane that she had with the girls. Unlike Nikki and Sami, Shane fought back at first, but eventually, he too succumbed to Shelly’s manipulation. Shane and Nikki, who were close in age, shared a bond, and as Shelly’s main two targets, they often confided in one another. They would talk about how messed up Shelly was and dream about escaping together.
Shelly took notice of Shane and Nikki’s closeness and would make them do inappropriate things together to humiliate them like forcing them to wallow together naked. Shane tries to run on more than one occasion but Shelly finds him and punishes him. The focus on Shane fades a little when Kathy Lorengo, Shelly’s hairdresser, comes to live with the Knoteks.
Out of work and money, Kathy accepts Shelly’s generous offer to stay at their house until she can get back on her feet. As she did with Shane, Shelly initially treats Kathy like royalty, but this kindness quickly turns into violence. Shelly belittles Kathy, takes away her belongings, deprives her of food, cuts her hair, strips her of her clothes, beats her, forces her to sleep outside, and isolates her from all contact with her relatives. Kathy tries to run, but she is always caught. Shelly even forces others to take part in the torture, often instructing Shane to physically harm Kathy. Shane doesn’t resist or question Shelly’s orders.
Shelly tends to feed her victims pills, which seem to be sleeping pills, though it’s likely they are mixed with other substances. Kathy is so brutally beaten and tormented, while being fed whatever Shelly gives her, that she eventually dies. David and Shane burn her body, and David takes the ashes to the ocean near his work to dispose of them.
Needing someone to blame for Kathy’s death, Shelly pins it on Shane. Fearing that someone might question the family about Kathy’s disappearance, Shelly repeatedly declares that Shane is responsible for Kathy’s death, trying to convince both herself and others that he’s the one at fault.
Soon after Kathy’s death, Shane disappears from the story. It is later revealed that David shot Shane in the back of the head to prevent him from revealing the truth about Kathy’s death. Shelly had instilled fear in everyone, convincing them that Shane intended to go to the police. Shelly was masterful at manipulating those around her.
A few years later, Shelly lands a job as a caseworker, but unsurprisingly, it doesn’t last long. She fails to show up or perform her duties, eventually getting fired. It’s during this time that she meets Ronald Woodworth. Ron, a “new friend” of Shelly’s, had helped an elderly woman with dozens of cats who was being evicted from her home. Meanwhile, Nikki and Sami, now grown, have moved out and begun their own lives. With only Shelly and Tori at home, and David occasionally around when he’s not working, Tori starts to notice her mother’s disturbing behavior.
Ron is already super down about the split between him and his partner Gary of 17 years, his father’s recent passing, and losing his home. He’s even suicidal. Therefore, he’s an easy target for Shelly. He moves into the Knotek’s home and, like the children and Kathy, experiences Shelly’s physical and verbal abuse. His possessions are taken from him, he is referred to as worthless and disgusting, receives little to no food, and is made to do yard work without clothing.
Shelly goes as far as to force Ron to physically hurt himself. Shelly instructs him to punch himself in the face repeatedly and he does it. Another time, Shelly instructs David to tell Ron to jump off the roof. David does as Shelly says and Ron does as he is told, jumping off the roof and getting up and doing it again.
Seeing all of this deeply hurts Tori, who sincerely enjoys Ron’s company. He’s described as a funny, sweet, and nice guy. Shelly notices the bond between the two of them and doesn’t accept it. Shelly forces Ron to tell Tori that he doesn’t love her anymore. Although Tori was young at the time, she knew this wasn’t true and her mother forced Ron to say it.
Ron, like everyone before him, tries to make a run for it but is caught and the torture continues.
As the truth begins to unravel, Nikki confides in her grandmother, Lara, during the summer of 2001, revealing that Shelly killed Kathy. Fully aware of Shelly’s horrific behavior, Lara believes Nikki and the two go to the police to make a statement. The police try to reach Sami to verify Nikki’s story and leave her a message, but Sami refuses to respond, possibly out of fear of her mother’s reaction. I was angered by Sami’s actions, as she seemed to be covering for her murderous mother, and I felt she had betrayed her sister. However, years of abuse and torture can certainly instill paralyzing fear.
Around the same time, James “Mac” McClintock, a Pearl Harbor survivor and friend of Kathy’s mother, Kaye, enters the picture. Tori takes a liking to him, just as she did with Ron. Shelly treats him like royalty, calling him the father she never had. However, it quickly becomes clear why she treats him so well—he’s old and has money. Mac seems to enjoy Shelly’s company, and they form such a strong bond that, in 2001, Mac names Shelly as his power of attorney. A year later, Mac suffers a “terrible fall” and dies. Shelly, unmoved by his passing, inherits $5,000, his house worth over $140,000, and his dog, Sissy.
As always, Shelly’s financial windfalls never last long. Despite David working frequently, the Knoteks never seem to have any money. When cash is scarce, Shelly resorts to using credit cards, opening accounts in her daughters’ names and racking up debt.
While Mac’s death is officially ruled as a result of a fall, Shelly blames Ron for his death. It’s apparent that Shelly was likely involved in Mac’s death and may have wanted him dead for the money. However, the book doesn’t delve into the specifics of Mac’s death. Shelly repeatedly tells Ron that he killed Mac, and, already worn down by years of mental, verbal, and physical abuse, Ron accepts the blame and apologizes endlessly. Unable to escape Shelly’s control, he accepts whatever she says.
In 2003, Shelly calls David to tell him that Ron tried to kill himself. Shelly removes Ron from their house and places him in Mac’s home. She tells Tori not to reveal anything about Ron and instructs her to say that he moved to Tacoma if anyone asks.
Around this time, Tori begins to experience the same abuse her sisters once endured. Nikki and Sami, under the impression that Tori is fine, don’t realize the extent of what she’s going through. Tori, not fully understanding her mother’s behavior toward her sisters, tells Sami that she’s doing okay when they talk.
Although Sami acknowledges her mother’s violent tendencies, she maintains a relationship with Shelly. I believe she stays in contact not only to stay informed about Tori’s well-being but also because she was often seen as the “favorite” child. Sami didn’t endure the same level of abuse as Nikki or Shane did, and when she was abused, she often used humor to deflect.
One day, Shelly calls Sami and tells her that she’s decided to allow Tori to see her. Sami, now living in Seattle, secretly arranges a dinner with Tori and Nikki. After Nikki moved out, Shelly had filled Tori’s head with lies about her older sister, claiming Nikki didn’t like her or wasn’t a good person. But when Tori finally reunites with Nikki after so many years apart, she’s very fond of her. I believe the reunion has a profound impact on the sisters, reminding them of their strong bond and encouraging them to take action against their mother.
Tori later confides in Sami, revealing that Shelly has been physically and verbally abusing her. Sami is devastated by this revelation, as she and Nikki had hoped the abuse would stop with them. She tells Tori that their mother killed Kathy, and when Tori expresses her belief that Ron is dead, Sami shares this with Nikki. The two sisters realize they must do something to stop their evil mother.
As Nikki and Sami discuss how to protect Tori and get Shelly behind bars for her crimes, Ron dies. Shelly calls David, claiming she tried to save Ron by performing CPR. While waiting for David to return home, Shelly puts Ron’s body in the freezer. When David arrives, he moves the frozen body, plans a pit, and buries Ron.
On August 6, 2003, Nikki and Sami go to the local police to report everything they know about their mother. When Nikki had first told the police about Kathy’s death, they had failed to take action. Now, Nikki insists that if Ron’s death could have been prevented, the police could have stopped it earlier.
The next day, police and CPS caseworkers arrive at the Knoteks’ home to take Tori into custody. Tori whispers to the deputy, urging him to obtain a search warrant and telling him where she’s hidden Ron’s belongings as evidence. Tori then goes to the police station and gives her testimony. Although she doesn’t provide graphic details about what she experienced or witnessed, her account is enough for the police to take action.
Shelly frantically calls Sami, unsure of what’s going on or why CPS has taken Tori. Sami pretends to be clueless, playing along with Shelly’s confusion. David goes to the police station to retrieve Tori and demand answers, but the police refuse to share information. However, they do question him about Ron and Kathy. David finally cracks under pressure and reveals everything—where Ron and Kathy’s bodies are and what happened to them. After this revelation, the police arrest Shelly at Mac’s house.
A Light at the End of the Tunnel
In 2004, Dave and Shelly were convicted.
David was charged with first-degree murder in the death of Shane, as well as rendering criminal assistance and unlawful disposal of human remains. He pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and was sentenced to 15 years in prison. He was paroled in 2016.
Shelly was charged with two counts of first-degree murder for the deaths of Kathy and Ron. She entered an Alford plea, meaning she did not admit responsibility but acknowledged the strength of the prosecutor’s case against her. Shelly was convicted of second-degree murder and manslaughter for the torture and deaths of Kathy and Ron. She was sentenced to 22 years in prison and is scheduled to be released in 2022 for good behavior.
My Review and Rating
Horrifying, heartrending, and astonishing, this book is a must-read for true crime lovers. It’s a page-turner that will keep you wanting to know more while anticipating justice for the victims. Once I started reading, I found it almost impossible to put down.
As mentioned at the start of this blog, the book is structured chronologically, allowing you to learn about Shelly’s past. Understanding her relationship with her biological mother and paternal grandmother, and the experiences she had early on, is crucial. These factors may have significantly impacted her and shaped her disturbing behavior.
The ghastly actions of Shelly towards her daughters and friends, along with the fact that her husband, David, stood by and did nothing to stop the abuse (and even took part in the heinous crimes), left me enraged and disgusted. I admit that there were times I had to put the book down after learning about the suffering of the children and friends. But I kept going, knowing there was hope for justice in the end.
The Strength of Sisterhood
What kept me hopeful throughout the book was knowing that the sisters had each other. They stood by one another and refused to let their mother’s sickening behavior tear them apart. Despite enduring years of hell, Nikki, Sami, and Tori’s ability to persevere is truly awe-inspiring. Their courage, strength, and resilience to overcome such trauma moved me deeply.
David Knotek: Willing Participant or Victim?
There is no question that David was a willing participant. It’s appalling how he could turn a blind eye to his wife’s actions without any apparent concern. He was either fully aware of what was happening and chose to ignore it, or he was shockingly ignorant of the situation. Throughout the book, it’s disturbing how he supports his wife’s choices, even when it’s clear that what was happening in their home was anything but normal. Some might argue that David was also a victim of his wife, but I disagree. He had the power to leave and stop the abuse. He could have saved his children and Shelly’s friends, but he chose not to. In doing so, he became complicit in the atrocities.
Evil Mom to Be Released in 2022
Upon finishing the book, I couldn’t help but Google the case, and I was shocked to learn that Shelly Knotek is set to be released in 2022. Honestly, I don’t believe for a second that she’s any different now than she was back then. She may have aged, but that doesn’t mean her mental state or the danger she poses has changed.
This story serves as a brutal reminder of the realities of abuse, manipulation, and murder. I hope my blog sheds light on this tragic case, as well as the countless similar stories out there. The truth needs to be heard, and spreading awareness about Shelly Knotek’s actions is one small way we can contribute.
I personally gave this book a solid 5 out of 5 stars because of the powerful, haunting way it reveals the truth. It left me thinking long after I finished the final page. On GoodReads, it holds a respectable 3.96/5, and Scribd rates it even higher at 4.5/5.
Now, I want to hear from you! Have you read If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood? Whether you agree, disagree, or have a completely different take on it, I’d love to know what you think. Drop a comment below—let’s dive into a discussion!
