Exclusively Pumping: The Feeding Option I Chose
Today is National Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Day. As the saying goes “There’s no use in crying over spilt milk.” Clearly, whoever came up with this phrase never pumped breast milk.
As a mom who exclusively pumped, I know all too well the anger and frustration that follows after you lose any amount of breast milk. You worked hard to make that liquid gold for your baby only to see it go to waste.
The Third Feeding Option I Didn’t Know About
When I was pregnant with my son, my plan to feed him was simple. I preferred to nurse but if that didn’t work out I was perfectly fine with formula. I had no idea that exclusively pumping was an option. I didn’t know it was the route I was going to take.
Looking back, when the medical staff asked about my feeding plan, they simply asked, “Will you be nursing or formula feeding?” I had to choose one. They didn’t mention exclusively pumping. I later learned that it’s a viable option that doesn’t get the attention it deserves.
After Matty was born, he latched great and nursed fine the first few weeks. We later experienced some weight issues and our doctor had us supplement with formula. That’s when I made the decision to exclusively pump. Flu season was upon us so I decided to pump to help keep him protected.
I knew very little about EPing (exclusively pumping). Family members offered their advice and tips from experience. I joined social media groups to connect with other EPing moms and learn as much as I could and find support. I found the Exclusively Pumping Mamas private Facebook group to be incredibly beneficial. It was there that I learned so much from caring for pump parts to ways to increase my supply, what pumping accessories to purchase to make it easier, and so much more. I also turned to Google for questions and answers. Exclusively pumping is a lot of work and can be stressful, especially if it’s your first time. It’s also not the cheapest option. Between purchasing pump parts, a pump bag, milk storage bags, travel necessities, creams, and more, I spent a decent amount in order to EP. But I was determined to make this work.
In the beginning, I pumped 8-9 times a day, for 30 minutes each time. I tried my best to stick to a routine: every two hours I fed and burped Matty then pumped, stored the milk, washed all the pump parts, took a short break (if possible), and started it all over again. That routine posed very difficult in the beginning. The middle of the night sessions were the worst, especially when Matty started sleeping through the night at around eight weeks old. Everyone in the house was asleep and there I was pumping away in the next room. I had to set multiple alarms to get myself out of bed. At times I was envious of my husband since he got to sleep while I pumped.
Many, many, many times I cried and wanted to quit. “That’s it. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” I must have said those words a million times. I was exhausted and moody, and my body ached. I felt like a slave to my pump. I planned my days around my pump schedule. As much as I wanted to get out of the house and go somewhere or see my friends, I didn’t. It was going to require too much work to get my pump bag and baby bag ready. Many times I felt alone and isolated.
But I kept going. Over time it became easier, especially when I dropped sessions. I’ll never forget when I dropped the middle of the night session. I woke up feeling so energized, although I was nowhere near getting the amount of sleep I needed.
I didn’t exactly set a timeframe as to how long I planned to pump. I simply wanted to make it through maternity leave, which I did. Once I returned to work I decided to start the weaning process. My days became hectic between pumping, taking Matty to/from the nanny, going to work, cooking dinner, and everything else. I was down to four pumps a day when I returned to work in early January and then started dropping sessions. While I was happy that I now had more time to spend with my son who was becoming more and more active, a small part of me felt sad to stop pumping. I made such a big commitment when I decided to EP that when I stopped, it almost felt wrong. But knowing my son is healthy and happy, and recognizing how much better I felt since I didn’t have to make time every day to pump and do everything that pumping requires, helped make weaning easy.
To The Exclusively Pumping Mama
I wanted to share my journey to remind other EPing moms that they’re not alone and what they are doing matters. The decision to pump takes sacrifice. EPing is not easy. It’s time-consuming and can feel very overwhelming, especially when you have to pump while you’re away. Whether you pump for a month, six months or a year, you are awesome, Mama! Don’t ever forget that. You are brave and strong for EPing for your little one. To share an important piece of advice others have given me: don’t quit on a bad day because you don’t want to later regret your decision. Make the decision on a good day when your mind is clear and calm. Also, find or build a strong support system of people who understand and/or support your decision to pump to help you to keep going.
